Don't Fret

EoG(UMP): Trail of Broken Hearts

2011-02-02T21:32:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone... this is probably one of the most personal and transparent notes I've ever written, and involves a certain area of my past that... well, that I'm not very proud of and would rather forget. Now some of you are asking why I'm writing it if it's something I'm embarrassed about and would rather not remember. My reason is simple: because I hope it will make a difference.

Guys, we need to show discretion in how we act around young ladies. Don't do anything to confuse them (yes, we confuse them, too), don't rush into relationships, and don't do things that could give them false hopes. It reflects badly on you, but even worse, it hurts them. I've failed in this area. I'm also really dense, so I've failed several times in this area. But my hope is that by writing this note it will help some guys to think before they act. Or that it will at least alert young ladies to the fact that seemingly nice guys might unwittingly be leading them on.

I believe I've shown growth in this area (still not perfect), but I still carry regrets about having hurt some young ladies very deeply that took them a while to recover from. If this note can save even one guy from having to needlessly carry those same regrets, then it will be worth every bit of the discomfort of me opening up this part of my life.

Trail of Broken Hearts

Yeah, I've known a lot of girls

I've even liked a few.

But I've not yet really had

A love you could call "true".

The problem when I like a girl

Is that I easily confuse,

I start to think it's all about me,

Then we both always lose.

I would get careless, lead her on

In ways I didn't realize

Could ever give her that impression

Or put false hope in her eyes.

And once you're stuck, there's no way out:

There's got to be some pain.

So sadly, I've broken a few hearts

Though that was not my aim.

And each time I did it again

Guilt pierced me like a dart

I needed to learn to use my brain

'Cause each time I didn't think also broke my heart.

There's a trail of broken hearts behind me

I didn't realized I had crossed the line.

There's a trail of broken hearts behind me

If you look back, you'll see that some of them are mine.

I think I've learned at least a bit

About how to treat a girl,

How not to give her wrong ideas

And turn both our lives into a whirl.

I'll keep on learning, keep on growing

'Cause I know that I'm not perfect

But hopefully I've grown some common sense

To help me get this thing licked.

So now I say to other guys

"We've all got to learn the art

Of thinking ahead and doing what's best for them

So we don't all have a trail of broken hearts."

UMP: Here We Come, We're the Band

2011-02-02T21:30:00.002-05:00

First you hear the trumpets

From the faraway land,

Then you hear the bass drums roar:

Here we come; we're the band.

Giant golden tubas,

The conductor alone,

Woodwinds every shape and size,

Horns and big trombones.

We play for older folks

But also every girl and boy

And everyone else in between

Wherever we go, we bring joy.

You'll hear trumpet solos

And a whole lot more,

Then the whole band sings triumphant;

The drumline's roll-off roars.

You can hear our fast approach-

Happiness in your eyes-

As our music gets louder

You feel anticipation rise.

Rat-a-tat-tat

You hear our beat; up you stand

Rat-a-tat-tat

Here we come, we're the band!

Dedicated to the MBBC Symphonic Band, fall of 2010. Thanks for a great tour, the sweet memories, and for being the best band I've had the privilege of playing in!

EoG:TLC

2010-05-15T23:12:00.005-04:00

Today my mom had me edge the sidewalks to our lawn. Something she said that caught my attention was that the lawn needed some “TLC”: tender, loving care. And it got me thinking about TLC in general, and how giving the lawn TLC is similar to giving a person TLC.

The first thing I observed was that without TLC, a lawn is a mess. Besides ours, there are a couple lawns in the neighborhood that just don’t get very much care. They look like jungles, complete with entire packs of unidentified wild species. Similarly, people who are generally neglected by others wind up with all kinds of messes in their lives that they can’t deal with on their own.

My second and even more obvious observation was that TLC takes a lot of work! From the time my mom and I bought the edger at about 10, I was working until 5 in the afternoon. Nonstop work, from putting the thing together to running the edger to shoveling overgrowth away from the sidewalk to throwing the overgrowth and accompanying mud into a hole in our yard to cleaning up the sidewalk afterwards. Similarly, to show someone some tender, loving care involves a lot of very involved, very dirty work. Plan extra time for TLC, otherwise you’ll be too busy to get involved in anyone else’s life.

That leads into my third observation, which is that TLC involves a degree of personal sacrifice. In order to edge the yard, I put myself to all kinds of inconvenience like the possibility of sunburn, not getting to sit on my lazy bum all day like I had wanted, skipping lunch, and working by myself all day. In the same manner, if you want to administer any degree of TLC to someone, be prepared to inconvenience yourself and even potentially do things that are very hard or detrimental to you.

A slightly more challenging analogy is that TLC is most beneficial where it is least deserved. Our lawn hadn’t had the sidewalks edged in years. It’s not a very nice-looking lawn. There were plenty of other lawns that would have been much more pleasant to work with: smaller, less to do, better maintained. But edging those sidewalks wouldn’t have made nearly as big an impact as it did on ours. Similarly, some people are easy to offer your love and care to. But bear in mind that it’s probably the less attractive, more annoying type of people that could use the TLC more, and that giving them the care we all need will probably make a way bigger difference in their life.

A fifth analogy is that no matter how much TLC you pour into a lawn, it won’t look perfect right away. Because right now, despite all the work I did, the sidewalk still has dirt stains and the edges look really goofy. It probably won’t be until the first rain that it really looks right. And some people won’t like what you’re doing to the lawn because it looks funny until the rain comes, which is completely out of your control. My dad and brother both thought the yard looked really weird when I was done. Similarly, when you’re putting care into a person, you won’t see a perfected and encouraged individual right away. Sometimes some other things have to happen first before you start to see any results.

Although I could make countless more analogies, I will conclude with this one: TLC is our duty. I was maintaining the lawn not only because my mom asked me to but also because our landlord EXPECTS us to maintain our lawn and keep it looking nice. The same way, we should all be involved with loving and caring for our fellow human beings because it’s our duty to do so. Almost every single religion commands its followers to love the people around them, and even atheists believe in the “common good”, so why are so few people involved in caring for their fellow man?

I challenge you. I challenge me. How much TLC do you give out on an average day?

Thanks for reading.

UMP: Little Things

2010-05-15T22:14:00.002-04:00

Although sometimes a great big thing
Encourages me when I need it,
There are times when little things do that, too
So many times I've seen it!

Though someone can't afford something big,
These small displays of love:
A smile, a hug, a shoulder to cry on,
Are blessings from above.

Some people share those little things
With everything they do
They're such an inspiration that I think:
"Why don't I do that, too?"

I want to spread the "little things"
Everywhere under the sun,
Bring encouragement with me everywhere I go,
And a smile to everyone.

UMP: Valkyrie

2010-05-15T22:12:00.007-04:00

Once on a battlefield
In days of old
There was a warrior
The story is told

Of how valiantly he fought
Against evil and wrong
But weary he grew
As the day continued and grew long

Though mighty he was, he was tired
And he fell when he tripped
Instead of rising to fight any more
He stayed down, and from his hand his blade slipped

He was laden with fatigue
From the long war, the day’s fight
He decided he could take no more
At least, not without seeing the light

So instead of standing
He remained on his knees
As the battle waged on,
He had one final plea

He lifted his eyes
Towards the fierce, windy sky
With open, empty hands
This was his cry:

“Valkyrie, oh Valkyrie!
Sweet Angel of Death!
Come and take me away
To my final rest.

I have fought my last battle,
I can take no more.
Come take me to the warrior’s paradise
I have heard of in lore.”

And then in the distance
No bigger than a star
Came his undertaker angel
From that paradise land afar

The speck grew ever larger
For relief did the warrior lust
As the Valkyrie grew ever closer
Her steed raising a mighty cloud of dust

The winged mount stopped next to him
The Valkyrie, fierce and beautiful, stooped to say,
“Now, brave warrior, mighty in heart,
What could make you want to go away?”

He lifted his gaze to her and said,
“Sweet Valkyrie, I need to go
I have failed my glorious land, besides,
I’m mortally wounded, surely this you know.”

Then something occurred
The broken soldier understood not
For the Valkyrie appeared to have no intention
Of removing him from that spot

Instead of carrying the mighty man away
For him she shed a single tear
The Angel of Death lifted his chin and spake,
“Poor, broken man, lend me your ear.

You came to this field
You made your stand
Your motherland you have not failed
This you surely understand.

Look around you now
Though the battle wages on,
And though the battle may continue
With your help, your side has won.

Your friend over yonder has slain many
And helped your land so much in this strife
But can you recall when the foe almost slew him?
You came to his aid and saved his life!

Or your other ally over there
You also came to his aid
But now he gained the high ground there
See? Of failure you need not be afraid.

Have you forgotten why you fight?
To save your land: set others free
With a cause so noble as that
How can you desire to call on me?

You’ve not failed, you’ve only fallen;
So stand up once more, my friend.
The only time you truly fail
Is when you fall and don’t rise again.”

Then she rose to her feet,
Stretched out her hand,
Took a hold of his shoulder,
And caused him to stand.

Then she mounted her horse
And rode away on her steed.
Though she had not given him what he wanted,
She had still met his need.

The warrior watched her leave,
For death he did not need her aid
So he reached down to the mud
And once again brandished his blade.

UMP: Bumper Stickers

2008-12-28T14:10:00.005-05:00

Life is full of "bumper stickers"
Sayings that are meaningful or keen.
But do you have them just to go along?
Do you say good things that you don't mean?

I saw one on a car today,
It said, "Jesus loves you, I do, too"
But the driver shook his fist and cursed
At some guy who wouldn't let him through.

I saw one that told me to "Be Happy"
Alongside a yellow smiley face
But the driver looked laden with a world of sorrow
As down the road he raced.

"Support Our Troops" ribbons honor our soldiers
And the seeds of liberty they've planted.
But how often do we belittle their sacrifice
By taking it all for granted?

On Facebook everyone joins this cause:
"To Write Love on Her Arms" is their creed.
But how many of them have dropped everything
To help a girl in need?

A TV preacher said, "Love your neighbor"
I wonder when was the last time
That preacher saw a man in need
And even thought to give a dime.

I saw a singer at a show
He sang, "Praise Jesus! Bless His holy name!"
But everything he did onstage
He did for his own fame.

So take the "bumper stickers" off your life
Let's see who you really are.
I'd rather see you live it out
Than stick it on your car.

UMP: Wardrobe

2008-12-07T15:10:00.006-05:00

Sometimes I think

About all of life’s cares:

Cruel famines, and plagues,

The air raid siren blares.

All of life’s problems,

The great and the small,

Some are just mine

And others affect all.

They all come down on my shoulders

And I long for a place

Where problems take bodily form.

Let me fight or give chase!

Let me enter a wardrobe

Where inside I will find

A land where problems become monsters,

Materialize from my mind,

Gather in ranks,

Polish their swords,

Give heed to their Witches,

And call their Dark Lords.

I’ll walk through that door

Out into the snow:

And I’ll fight those monsters

Just ‘cause I want to show

That I’ll fight to the death;

There will sound no retreat

From my army’s trumpets.

Though I may be beat,

They can’t break my spirit,

Can’t put fear in my eye.

They’ll have to kill me first.

Do you want to know why?

The Lion is coming!

What they don’t understand is

They’re fighting a lost battle.

Victory’s already His!

They may gather against me

In their hordes and great throngs.

If I die in the battle,

They’ll at least know my heart longs

For the time when He arrives

With His mane in the breeze.

All evil things tremble,

And the enemy flees.

All worry will be gone,

Sorrow will be no more,

There’s no reason for stress

When you hear His roar.

But there is no such wardrobe,

There is no such place

Where I can fight my enemies:

Stare them down face to face.

So I’ll face my reality:

Come back through the door.

I’ll step out of the wardrobe.

The beasts are just problems once more.

And although there’s no Lion,

Jesus is always right there.

There’s no reason to doubt,

Fret, worry, or care.

So bring on the problems!

In hordes or one by one!

I’ll fight them for His praise and glory

‘Till He comes, or my life is done.

UMP: Upon Gazing at the Stars...

2008-11-02T15:42:00.002-05:00

Star light, star bright
As I gaze on you tonight
I think of my Dear God above
Who sent His Son to be the Light.

Star light, star bright
What would make Him do this thing?
To send His Child to ease our plight
And make us soar on eagles' wings?

I saw Orion, with his belt
And heard the crickets through the trees
And thanked God for His love heartfelt
And all He daily does for me.

I heard the cooing of the dove
I think of God's unchanging love
Even though He knows all that we do
He still provides for me and you
And sent His Spirit from above
To remind us of what's true.

Oh, the wolf! Afar he howls
And I'm reminded of my trials,
But with thought alongside goes
How He is with me all the while:
My every single care He knows.

Oh, star light; Oh dear star bright!
I heard midnight on the bells.
These thoughts, my comfort through the night
As fast asleep I fell...

RRR: Wait just a minute...

2008-09-22T00:40:00.004-04:00

In light of the fact that I'm now twenty-one years out of my precious mother's womb... and making no insinuation whatsoever about my buying intents...

Does it occur to anyone else that thousands of other people have turned twenty-one today? And that each and every one of those people are now legally allowed to purchase and use both ALCOHOL and HANDGUNS???

I'm starting to think that this was poorly planned. They could at least make it so you could buy one or the other when you turn twenty-one and make you wait another three years to buy the other one... but to be able to buy both on the same day might be a bit too much too handle for some people.

EoG: Just As I Am

2008-09-13T22:12:00.006-04:00

If there is one thing that has been permeating my mind recently, it has to be this one thing...

I'm a really really super duper incredibly unbelievably extremely and in every way a horrible person!!! Every day, I'm overcome with how many truly rotten things I do, say, and think. Even when people tell me, "Hey Jon, you're so cool and awesome..." I let it go to my head and I get proud and then later I'm like, "wow that was conceited..." (so yeah, no pity comments, please). I could expound upon several of the more common sins I commit on a daily basis, but that would most likely lower all of your opinions of me so instead I'll just skip to the good part.

God loves and forgives me anyway. Filthy, mean-hearted, rebellious sinner that I am. I'll never know why, but He does. And I can't help but think: why doesn't everyone run to a God like that? A God who will take you just like you are, and throughout your life constantly be molding you into who He wants you to be. The fact that some people ignore Him just blows my mind...

So hey everybody... let's come back to God. Because you know you're all filthy rotten sinners, too. The classic hymn of surrender says the rest of what I have to say better than I can, so here it is:

Just as I am, without one plea

But that Thy blood was shed for me

And that Thou bidd'st me come to Thee