RRR: Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations...

Lately on Facebook I've noticed a grand and marvelous host of bumper stickers and flair that contain a picture of one or many heroic male movie characters and the caption "Disney gave me unrealistic expectations of men." These bumper stickers have always disturbed me greatly, but I didn't exactly know why, because I agree that our society is quite lacking in the dashing, courteous, charming, extremely romantic, good-looking, horse-riding princetosweepyouoffyourfeet kind of man. Yes, guys, I just called for a reform on the part of the male population. We DO need to work on our manners and mannerisms to be better people ( and *wink wink* more attractive to our female counterparts).

But then today I started thinking cynically, and as this mindset typically has its way of doing, it turned the original concept backwards in my mind. And I found myself thinking, "Disney gave me unrealistic expectations... of WOMEN!!!" And my cynicism had brought me to possibly the greatest epiphany of the summer! That is why those bumper stickers disturb me so! They could just as easily be reversed!

Need proof? Watch, and tell me if you honestly think that the average girl on the street adds up to Ariel, Snow White, Belle, Jasmine, Briar Rose, Mulan, and Cinderella's standards. The typical Disney heroine is beautiful... not in the Barbie-doll kind of way, but true beauty that captivates and baffles the eyes, err, mind. She is normally intelligent in some sense of the word, not a brainiac and even occasionally ditzy but definitely keeps her wits about her... most of the time. She is typically a good cook. Oddly enough, a Disney princess loves to clean the house, and normally enlists an army of household items or woodland creatures to help. She is polite, even to her enemies (or as close to enemies as a Disney princess has). She is always optimistic, even in the face of danger and almost certain death or discomfort. She is sincere and heartfelt, not afraid to show her emotions. They never lie... EVER. And my personal favorite, they always seem to carry a song on the tip of their tongue.

Now some of you girls might be thinking, "But Jonathan!!! I do add up to all... most... some... of those descriptions! It's not fair that you should generalize when there truly ARE real Disney princesses out there!" And now you know how we feel. Because NEWS FLASH!!! There truly are real Disney princes out there, too. There ARE guys who are sincere and heartfelt, hold doors, are respectful, don't curse, are dashing and handsome, know how to waltz, walk slowly when walking with a lady even though they'd rather be going four times their current velocity, return slippers, carry a song in their hearts, and..... ride horses... or something... ANYways, how do I know? Because I'm one of the few who try. And congrats to other guys who try. None of us are perfect, but I've never seen Belle walking down the street either so get off my back.

But next time you think about complaining how little your male counterparts resemble Prince Caspian or Edward Cullen or High King Peter or WallE or Alladin or whoever in the name of Hollywood the heartthrobs are these days... first make sure that you're trying to be a princess, not being content as an ugly stepsister. Because we're coming, we might just still be figuring out how to wear the armor... but we'll only ride the stallions if the real deal is there waiting to be swept off her feet.